In this article, I presented some of the experiences of my colleagues who are couple therapists in foreign countries.

Here are some of the Q&A Methods You Will Learn In My Trainings or Sessions...

1. Have the discussion in a comfortable chair.

Harvard, M.I.T. and Yale professors published a study in 2010 found that people are more rigid when sitting in a hard, wooden chair, and more accommodating when sitting in a soft, comfortable chair. This leads you to a faster and permanent solution.

2. Start your conversations with 'I', not 'You'.

Starting the conversation with 'You' is seen as a precursor to an accusation. According to Irina Firstein, a therapist from New York, if you don't want the other person to get into defensive mode, you can always say, 'There's something I want to share with you.' start with something like

3. Take a break, provided you set a time.

Psychotherapist, author and host of 'Couple's Therapy', Dr. Jenn Mann says that taking a break in situations like this is one of the most important elements of a relationship, 'Promise each other you'll take a break when the blood boils in your brain.' Tell him how much time you need so he doesn't think you slammed the door. ' What you might say is something like, 'I'm too angry right now, I want to talk about this when I've calmed down a bit, so I'm going for a five-minute walk.'

4. Place your hand over your heart during the discussion.

'I think it shows how emotional you are at that moment when you look at the person in front of you.' Firstein says, 'It can really soften the air. '

5. Go for a run or play sports together to get rid of your anger.

Rachel A. Sussman, therapist and relationship specialist, 'Ask them next, if they want to talk about what happened or how they're feeling.' she says.

6. Hold hands before the big talk.

'Physical contact causes an outbreak of oxytocin – also known as the love hormone.' says couples therapist Lori Gottlieb. 'You'd be surprised how hard it is to raise your voice at someone holding your hand.'

7. Turn what you feel into a wish.

Therapist Jean Fitzpatrick said, "Your full attention is always on your phone," instead of saying, "Why don't we have coffee together at 8 pm today without the phones?" try to say.' she says.

8. Don't get into a big fight right before you go to bed.

A serious conversation that will keep you thinking and awake all night has never helped anyone. When you want to take time to talk to your partner, Fitzpatrick says, 'There's something I want to talk to you about. Can you spare a few minutes after dinner?' suggests saying something like she.

9. Wait a second before answering them.

'If you're so obsessed with something your partner says or does, get settled within yourself before putting it into words. In this way, you can speak more constructively and calmly instead of flashing.' says Fitzpatrick.

10. Set a few limits on the discussion.

There will always be arguments, but make an agreement that allows you to argue fairly. 'There should be no insulting, sarcastic remarks or threatening gestures at each other,' Mann said. He suggests asking your partner if there are any gestures or words that particularly upset them.

11. Try to get through the reconciliation period safely.

According to Mann, 'The period of reconciliation comes after the honeymoon and determines how you define yourself as a couple and how you handle conflict situations, so it's a pretty serious phase for the relationship.' Some couples may argue more than others during the negotiation phase, which doesn't mean their relationship is any more unhealthy. ' Both sides are looking for ways to meet the needs of the other while meeting their own needs during this period.'

12. Call each other by previously cute nicknames you both know.

'Using your partner's real name may make you appear more serious and increase the distance between you.' says Gottlieb. 'Lower your voice and, if you like, call him a nickname that shows you care.'

13. Do not hesitate to seek professional help if you notice that your fights are starting to become constant.

If you're having arguments over the same issues that escalate and get clogged after a while, consider getting couples therapy. 'Only one side of the relationship wants to go to therapy, and the other is 'We've been together for so many months!' We encounter situations where he objects.' says Mann. 'But most couples need to learn to maintain a relationship, and the sooner they learn this, the faster their relationship will improve.'

14. Use your emotions to change things.

'Your feelings are important, but they are most important when you perceive them as a sign.' says Fitzpatrick. 'Everyone expresses their feelings sometimes. But I just express Rather than let them flow, let these feelings lead you to the change you want to make in your relationship.'

15. Don't tell your friends about your partner until you've made some headway in the discussion.

'Talking with your friends about the argument you had can make you feel more stern and angry.' says Gottlieb. ' Pour your heart out to enlighten your friends further once you've sorted out the matter somehow.'

16. Try premarital therapy.

'There were engaged couples who were very happy in their relationship and talked to me like those who used to go to the clergy before they got married in the past.' says Gottlieb. 'We usually focus on money, children, work life and conflict resolution and we do 4 sessions.'

17. Encourage your partner to learn more about himself.

'I think we have a responsibility to ourselves and to our partners to be the best we can be in our relationship,' says Mann. 'If we are having difficulties we should take responsibility and perhaps go to therapy for professional help.'

In this article, I presented sections from the experiences of my therapist colleagues in foreign countries. If you want to talk to me about this issue, you can write or call me on my whatsapp line +90544 724 36 50. Because problems in relationships are not like any fire, they can turn into many forensic, psychological and health problems.